Why so ugly, on the inside?

These
are the times of a global pandemic
and all that the majority of the world has been asked to do is stay at home, by themselves.
It shouldn’t be that hard.
But why is it so hard?
Why does it seem to be?

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone”, said Blaise Pascal once.
And it seems there are certain truths that have remained hidden from the majority since forever. And gladly we call this state ignorance.

Coming to the truth, we are nothing but a mere particle of the universe flying in the universe, with a physical self, grounded to a planet, in all it’s complexities.
And at the core of our being, lies this truth.
Lies us.And lies all the facts of life.

That we do not actually know anything. That there might not be any gods. That the colours and the world that we see is nothing but our own illusionary perspectives.

That we are actually meaningless beings. Who have nothing to do here. Who have nothing to look for, via existing. That our existence doesn’t mean a thing. That we are scum.
These, unfortunately, are the truths of life and the closer we seem to come to it, the more it starts to ache.
It aches whenever we have to be with ourselves. It kills us when we have to face ourselves.
As when we are with ourselves,
we linger way nearer to the soul-wrenching truth than we do when we are happy and distracted.
And thus, it aches, for nature,including us, tends to protect us from ourselves.
For if we find the truth and face ourselves,
then
we might want to not live anymore,
we might lose our will-to-life
and
we might end up killing ourselves
via what i call an adventurous Suicide,
in search of answers since there are none here!